


Internet Friends

by SmolTownFangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura isn't here but she's gonna be mentioned later, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gen, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance is sad, Lance poor baby, Langst, M/M, ahhhh??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:59:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolTownFangirl/pseuds/SmolTownFangirl
Summary: Lance is 14 when he makes his first Tumblr. He is 14 when he meets his first Internet friend. He's 19 when he meets them.





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all- this is my first post of 2018!! A multi chappter fic, that will be updated as quick as I can. I plan for at least three chapters. Shout out to my beta reader Naruaku on tumblr!

Lance was 14 when he makes his tumblr. Its a shitty and very very stupid ask blog; Ask-Fireonthesea. It’s based off Jackson Getton from Petter Grace and The World's, a boy who can manipulate fire and lives on the beach. He is 14 when he does his first cosplay, 14 when he goes to his first comic con, 14 when he meets the others in the fandom for PGW, 14 when he makes a tumblr, and 14 when he gets his first internet friend. 

 

His first internet friend is the ask blog for Wentworth Sol- A boy who can manipulate light. He becomes friends with the ask blog because they interact on each others posts- so he decides he has to be friends with this blog. He can’t even remember what their first conversation actually was- something cringy probably- but soon Shiro and him were practically brothers. 

 

His second internet friend was another ask blog- Askbones-and-earth. Him and Hunk hit it off immediately. Both of their cosplays cringy and shitty compared to Shiro’s, but the three of them were best friends despite the fact that Shiro lived in Japan, Hunk in Maine, and Lance had just moved to Texas from Cuba. The three exchanged skypes, and soon it was all they would do: sleep, school, tumblr, and skype. All of that changed when Shiro disappeared. 

 

Not literally. He posted less and less, and less, and less; skyped less and less until Lance and Hunk didn’t even know who he was anymore. Hunk took it harder than Lance. They stopped talking for a week and it destroyed Lance. He had already lost shiro, he couldn’t lose Hunk too. The two quickly reconnected though- and Hunk shared his new comfort. A netflix show called Vixtron: Legendary Destroyers. 

 

And just like that the two of them were sucked into the fandom they would stay in for several years. Lance made a blog called LilacLeo- Leo was the blue pilot on the show who was a sad boy and needed more love- where he made angst to his heart's content. His writing became fairly popular, then suddenly him and Hunk had two of the most popular blogs in their corner of the fandom. They both screamed when Lance hit 9,000 with Hunk not too far behind.  

 

As their blogs grew so did their internet friends- adding onto it was Pidge, another big Vixtron blog and  _ Keith _ . Lance and Keith were a wildfire, both of them being the biggest rivals they ever had. Well Lance constantly shouted on his blog they were rivals, Keith said they were friends. Same thing really. The four of them were the bestest of friends, each one popping up on each others blogs constantly- not to mention skyping. 

 

They were there the first time someone jumped Lance for being bi, they were there when Hunk excitedly told them that he had a girlfriend (“Shay…” Hunk smiled his big doopey smile), there when Keith’s family went to visit his now famous cousin in Japan, (“Hey Hunk?” “mmm Yeah?” “Do you think..?” “No way dude, no way.” “Hey Keith what’s your Cousins name?” “Takashi but everyone calls him Shiro.” “Holy shit.”),  there when Pidge had to choose the IB program or stick with AP. They were there for each other. 

 

Lance was 14 when he made his first internet friends. And now at 19, he’s going to college with two of them. 

 

“It’s not faaaaiiiir,” Pidge whined over the phone, “You guys are all gonna meet and I’m stuck in high school for another two years.”

 

Lance chuckled, “Which is weird cause you’re definitely smarter than me.” 

 

“Yeah! How’d you even get into Samwell?” Pidge’s tone said joke. 

  
“Brains, baby, brains.” Lance responded too embarrassed to say the truth. 

 

He got into Samwell on a scholarship for writing. It wasn’t like that was a big deal but it was a huge deal. The only person who knew the full truth was Hunk, and that was just because he had told him he wasn’t gonna get into Samwell without serious financial help. His Journalism teacher, bless her heart, decided to submit one of Lance’s pieces to the school. He’d been told by the schools administration that he qualified for a full scholarship- but he would have to work for the school newspaper in inclusion too any other thing he wanted to do. All in all the whole thing was a mess and he really didn’t want the others too know the length he went to get to the school.

 

“As if,” Keith’s voice cracked to life over skype.

 

Hunk shushed him, before the three returned their attention to Lance, “So when you heading up here?”

 

“My flight leaves in five days. How about you?”

 

“I’m getting on a train to boston in two days! I’m meeting with Keith later that afternoon,” Hunk said the last part as if it was a question even though it was a statement.

 

“Yeah dude, around five so it’s after my practice.” Keith’s voice was hard to hear an indication he was moving around away from his laptop. 

 

“We geeet it, rich boy, you’re the star player for the hockey team,” Lance drawled at the other boy. 

 

“Hey dude,” Keith’s voice sounded clearer, “I am not the star player…” 

 

“Yet.” Everyone echoed the montra Keith said when talking about his hockey career. 

 

Keith was bred and born on hockey, his dad being one of the biggest hockey players in the industry before he retired. Wherever Keith’s dad went chances are that that team was gonna win the cup. Right now he was signed on with a team in New York, before that he was signed on with the Dallas Stars, before that it was The Sharks, before that it was the Aces. It was really no surprise that Keith took after him. 

 

Lance gave an audible eye roll, “Whatever dork. Okay I gotta scram. Peace my dudes.” 

 

Lance hung up before the rest of them could say bye, tossing his phone on the bed. He sighed, feeling heavy. He lied to his friends about coming up in a week, he was catching his plane in four hours. The Samwell Swallow starts printing in a week, so they can have their first issue ready before the first school year. But Keith was gonna be busy with practice the next week, and Hunk with his engineering program. He didn’t wanna add to all the pressure the both of them were under. 

 

He looked at the pictures he was taking down. His mama, his papa, Antonio, Eliza, Maria, and Luis were smiling as they sat outside Antonio’s restaurant, he finally did it. Lance had taken the photo, before they took a big one, but Lance really enjoyed the one he took better. The next photo was of Keith- a small picture, very very blurry. He had bullied Luis into driving him out of their town and to Dallas to see Keith's dad play. As they were leaving He had spotted Keith in the crowd and shot a picture of him before Luis dragged him off. Later he sent it to the group chat with the caption “Cryptid spotted”. The last picture was of him and Eliza, the day of Isa’s birth. He put all three photos into his already full suitcase. 

 

The front door banged open and he jumped as Luis called out, “Lance!” 

 

“In here Luis!” Lance called down the hall. 

 

His older brother walked into the room, a confident swing to his hips, “Why are you in here? The party is outside!” 

 

He shrugged at the mention of the party his parents were throwing for him. It was filled with people that didn’t even like him, and people he didn’t mind. He looked at his older brother, “I was talking to my friends.” 

 

Luis rolled his eyes, “Those people aren’t your friends- they’re just people you met online.”

 

“I don’t wanna have this talk again, Luis.”

 

“God Lance,” Luis muttered before speaking up, “Either way it doesn’t matter. You’ll be gone in four hours so come on. You need to spend some time with your family!” 

 

Lance let himself be dragged away from his suitcase, from his room, from his phone, and from his friends on the other side. He talked and mingled wasting two hours on the party with his ‘friends’ and family. He wished he was still on the call, talking too Keith and Pidge and Hunk. But he wasn’t and he needed to spend a few hours with his parents. So he did.

 

The party was over, and he spent thirty minutes more packing up. He sighed as Isa waddled into his room prompting her to ask, “Uncle Lance are you sad?”

 

He turned to her picking her up, “Of course not, carino, I’m never sad.” 

 

Isa giggled before turning serious and looking her uncle in the eye, “Are you lea- leaving?”

 

“For a little while baby,” He spoke softly, “But I’ll be back for christmas.”

 

Isa’s brown eyes filled with tears, “What??” 

 

Lance shushed Isa, as she buried her head into his shoulder and cried muttering about how she didn’t want Uncle Lance to go. Eliza came in the room, before taking her daughter out of Lances arms, and giving him a side hug. 

 

“I love you little bro,” she smiled at him, eyes glassy, “Be safe up north, okay?”

 

He nodded, enveloping the two girls in his arms. He wasn’t going to cry, he wasn’t. He pulled away, grabbing his bag and his phone. He kissed Isa on the forehead, and smiled at her, “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone, okay Carino?”

 

Isa nodded sniffling as Eliza kissed Lance’s forehead. He walked past them and went to the living room, where his mom and dad were waiting to say goodbye. Antonio and him made eye contact, and he nodded. Antonio grabbed his bag to put in the car as Lance hugged his mom and dad. 

 

“This is it guys,” He said, smiling, “I’m going to college.” 

 

His mom was crying, “Lance, mijo, te mucho amo pero por que no podía ir a la escuela mas cerca tambien casa?” 

 

“Mama. We talked about this.” His voice was tight, “Samwell is offering a full ride. It’ll be great.”

 

“Lance, son,” His father sighed his accent coming in thick, “You know your mom just worries.”

 

“I know dad,” He kisses his mom on the forehead, “Te amo, Mama. Te vere mas tarde.” 

 

With a final hug too both of his parents he gets in the car with Antonio, looking back at the house that built him from the ground up. Antonio was quiet as always as they pulled away towards the airport. 

“I’m proud of you Lance,” Antonio’s voice was heavy, “Really proud of you.”

 

He turned too his stoic brother, a soft frown on his face, “You’re not going to cry right?”

 

“No, Lance,” He laughed, “I’m not gonna cry. I’m just proud of you.” 

 

Lance hummed, watching houses and cars go by. His brain was heavy with the words of everyone, and his mind was tired. He turned back to his brother, “Antonio.. Do you think I’m doing the right thing? Going this far away for college?”

 

His brother hummed, “Yes and No. Yes because this is what you want. No because you’ll be far away from us.” 

 

“You are literally no help.”

 

The brothers shared a laugh pulling up towards the airport. It was relatively quiet in the airport as he hugged his brother goodbye. He checked his bag and made it through security, heaving with grief for the people he’s leaving behind. He found his seat on the plane and willed himself to sleep. 

 

He awoke several minutes before they landed by the captain coming on and announcing their landing. He sighed to himself, checking that he had his phone on him and putting his headphones on. The soothing tones of Doodie rang out, as he made his way too baggage claim. The next few hours were a blur as he made his way to Samwell from Boston Airport. By the time he got to campus it was 10 pm. He found his dorm and collapsed onto the bed, glad for the roommate who was obviously away at the moment. Restless sleep consumed him. 

 

He woke up in the morning, light streaming through the window. His stomach growled as he sat up, looking to the left of him. Still no roommate. Oh well. He started putting things up- starting with his pictures. He kept the one of Keith by his pre set up bed stand, before hanging up the two posters of Vixtron (one of the whole crew, one costume one of Leo that he got from his favorite artist for a trade) and put his clothes in the closet. His stomach growled louder as he sat back down on his bed. He checked his phone, noticing it was only 9 am so it was still relatively early. 

 

He sighed, rubbing his arm before grabbing the keys to his dorm. He walked, head down in a hoodie- it was his favorite, bright blue with the quote “I’m just a boy from cuba” on the front. He made it across the quad before someone ran into him, dropping something heavy they were carrying on him.

 

“Hey man watch where you're-” The voice was familiar and dread pooled in his stomach, “Holy shit. Lance?”

 

“Oh-” He looked at Keith as he shoved the bag filled, presumably, with hockey equipment off him, “Uh, hi Keith?”

 

Keith looked at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks, before getting cuffed on the back by someone who had a good few inches on Keith, “Yo, Keith, you gotta hurry or you’ll break the record for the latest one on the team.”

 

The stranger looked at Lance, “Oh shit dude! Didn’t see you there-”

 

“Hey Justin, can you tell Jack I’m not gonna make it to practice today?”

 

Both Lance and Justin stared at Keith with wide eyes, both of them knowing Keith never missed practices. Justin cleared his throat as Lance tried to find his voice, “Keith, bro, why?”

 

Lance finally found his voice, “Keith go to practice. We can talk after?”

 

“Oh no. No!” Keith’s legendary temper was acting up, “You’re not pulling that shit on me man! You said you were coming in a week yesterday! And this is the first time we’ve officially met in person dude!” 

 

Keith yanked him up into a hug, arms strong from years of hockey, and Lance noticed with a tiny bit of glee that they were exactly the same height. When they were fourteen Keith was the second shortest but now they were exactly the same height and it did weird things to the butterflies living in his belly lately. 

 

“Okay…. Uh, I’m gonna go ahead Keith,” Justin said weirded out by the usually stoic Keith hugging someone willingly. 

 

Keith released Lance as Justin walked away, before putting on his game face. It was the face he made when Lance did ‘a thing.’ Lance was used too that face, honestly. His depressive episodes usually got returned with that face. When he admitted that he hadn’t been eating he got returned with that face. The face that meant he was being self destructive or that Keith thought he was. 

 

He pulled Keith back into an embrace, eyes watering for no particular reason. He cleared his throat, “Can we get something to eat? And then we’ll talk.”

 

Keith nodded, grabbing the bag from the floor as they walked too Annie’s, a local dinner. The silence was tense and not at all the comfortable silence that he was used too with Keith when they went on calls with just each other. Lance’s stomach filled with dread. 


	2. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, I shouldn't of. I can handle this Keith."

Lance sipped on his hot chocolate, waiting for Keith to reappear with their muffins. The walk over had been filled with silence. Keith had barley even looked at him, just to check that he wanted hot Chocolate- Lance was kind of surprised that keith remembered that he prefered hot chocolate to coffee.

 

Keith rounded the table, setting the blueberry muffin in front of Lance and the chocolate muffin he kept for himself. He cleared his throat, “So.. What are you doing up here?”

 

“Nothing-”

 

“Bull fucking shit Lance. You told us that you were coming down in a week,” Keith threw a finger at him, “And yet here you are. A week before your arrival. Did you pull something over us that is gonna get you hurt?”

 

Lance groaned taking another sip, “Keith, when have I ever done that?”

 

“Do you want a list?” Keith’s voice was dry and heavy as if everything was bothering him, “Because I can make a list.”

 

Lance rolled his eyes and snorted, taking a bite of his muffin. He and Keith made eye contact, and Keith's eyes were so much more intense when in person. The black-purple eyes were vivid, staring at him as though he was the greatest puzzle that Keith would never understand. Lance squirmed, uncomfortable with the gaze. He broke the stare, clearing his throat.

 

“I’m not gonna get hurt, Keith.” Lance’s voice came out stronger than he felt, “You know that if I was I would tell you right now.”

 

Keith seethed, “No. You. Wouldn’t. Let’s be honest Lance, you don’t have the best track record in the world for not getting yourself into situations. Remember when you tried to be straight when you realized you liked boys? Or when you joined all those clubs and then died of stress? How about-”

 

“Okay!” Lance semi-shouted, exasperated, “I get it! I’m the worlds biggest screw up.”

 

“Lance-”

 

“Dude. You need to listen to me. I’m not in a bad situation, nothing’s going wrong. I didn’t tell y’all I was coming yesterday because I didn’t want all of you guys too react exactly how you’re reacting.”

 

Keith pursed his lips, “Then tell me what’s up.”

 

“I struck a deal,” Lance shrugged staring at his hot chocolate, “I wasn’t getting into Samwell by my good grace and charm or natural smarts. The only thing I have going for me is writing. So I sold my soul to the Samwell Swallow, in exchange for a complete and true full ride as long as I churn out stories.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Keith’s voice was gentle, which was a rarity for him.

 

Lance shrugged again, “You think I wanna tell the kid of a world famous hockey player, the kid of a space engineer that reinvented how people view space travel, and the son of two engineers who design freaking rockets, that their friend is so short on money and brain power that he can’t get into the dream school?”

 

Lance’s voice was a hell of a lot stronger than he felt. He felt as though he were breaking. Hunk knew vaguely that he was on a scholarship but he didn’t know the full extent of it. Only Eliza knew the full extent but Eliza wasn’t here right now. He was on his own in a new strange world. He had Keith and Hunk, but not the warm embrace of a family that had always been there and would always be there. Lance flashed Keith a smile, trying to look stronger than he was. Keith just frowned again.

 

“We wouldn’t have judged you. Hell, I would have offered help.” Keith’s voice was rougher in person. Lance could listen to those rough tones for ages.

 

“I know that. And I didn’t want that.” His words came out as a sigh.

 

He took another sip of his hot chocolate, flashing Keith a smile. Keith was looking him with those hard eyes again, and he  knew that Keith saw straight through Lance’s act. Something about those eyes always seemed too know. He flinched, “Besides, it’s not that big of a deal.”  


“Lance, come on,” Keith spoke, “we both know that’s not true. This is a huge deal. You constantly slave over your writings for mistakes, with the added load of everything you have to do- plus knowing you, you’re going to want to get a job because it’s never fucking enough- you’re going to kill yourself with  all of the work. You should’ve just let us help a bit.”

 

“No, I shouldn’t of. I can handle this Keith, I know I can.” Lance broke eye contact, choosing to stare out the window.

 

“Lance-”

 

“Keith,” Lance drawled out the ‘e’ in a way that made Keith blush, “You need to trust me. I didn’t tell you guys because I know that y’all wouldn’t react the best. It's a miracle Samwell even wanted to put me on a scholarship by itself- not even mentioning all the convincing it took to get my mom to agree. So can we please just drop it?”

 

Keith was silent, staring at Lance like he was a puzzle again. It made Lance’s flesh crawl in a way that never happened before. It was oddly pleasant. Lance however was looking anywhere but keith. If he looked into those eyes he would probably spill the fact that he was planning to get a job, that he was overwhelmed, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He would spill the fact that he’s fucking terrified.

 

He’s terrified because even with the scholarship Samwell costs so much money. Terrified because nothing he does will be enough. Terrified because he doesn’t know if he can churn out constant content. If he can keep his blog going when he’s spending long nights doing stuff for the Swallow. But he can’t admit that to Keith. If he admits it to Keith, Keith would give him the look. The look that says that Keith knew all along that he was right. Lance hated that look.

 

He sighed into his coffee, “So did you see the new chapter of ‘Work Harder’? Because I was crying.”

 

“I know right?” Keith said, glad for some of the tension to ease, “I was like ‘Kaden! Don’t let Leo leave! Confront him!’ and just- Why-Not-Haha-Kill-Me out did themselves.”

 

The two fell into easy conversation after that, rambling about theories for Leo and Kaden to get together. Both of them were notorious for being huge Kaleo shipers- while Lance was fine shipping Leo with the other characters, there was something great about his interactions with Kaden- and writing the angstiest stories on the two boys. Slipping into Vixtron mode was always easy, and especially now as he was talking to Keith in person. This was how there first meeting should’ve gone. It shouldn’t have had anything to do with why lance was there early or why he didn’t tell them about the scholarship. It should’ve been about something they both loved.

 

Time passed quickly and soon it was noon. Lance had a meeting with the editor and chief of the Swallow, so he bade Keith goodbye. (“Seriously though keith, please don’t tell anyone I’m here yet.” “No promises.” “Keeeeeeith!” “Fine, fine. You gotta go though, and I should go explain myself to Jack.” “You didn’t have to skip practice.” “Yes I did.”) He started his way to the building where the Samwell Swallow was and prepared himself mentally.

 

What he was expecting was different from what he got. He was expecting something big and extravagant and awful. He’s met the head of the newspaper over a skype interview, and she was just about the most capitalistic person ever so expected the building for the Swallow to be a little nicer. But honestly, he should have known that it was going to be a total shit hole. He knocked on the door to the editors room, which swung open to reveal a girl with medium length brown hair and dark skin. She cracked a smile.

 

“New meat, welcome to the Samwell Swallow.”

 

“Thanks?” Lance’s voice came out airy and startled so he cleared his throat, “Thanks. I need to talk to the editor?”

 

“That would be me,” The girl gestured to herself, “I’m Ama Smith, and judging from the fact you needed to talk to me, you’re the guy that landed himself a scholarship.”

 

Lance nodded, “Yeah that would be me. I’m Lance Sánchez.”

 

Ama put him to work in no time, showing him the process he would undergo at the Swallow. If lance was being honest he found the whole process kinda fun- the interview, the writing, the feature stories, the profile stories, the editorial process, it was all interesting. As the introduction came to an end, she handed him his first assignment.

 

“We want to do a piece on campus rivalries, so that the new meat has something good to read.  Think You can handle it?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Lance nodded, “Most definitely. Who are the biggest rivals on campus?”

 

Ama smiled wide, pleased with lance’s answer, “There are three big ones. The swimming team and the tennis team, the girls volleyball team and the softball team, and lastly and the most famous one currently, The Men’s hockey team and the men’s lacrosse team.”

 

Lance groaned, “You know that’s actually perfect.”

 

“How so?” Ama’s brows furrowed.

 

“One of my best friends is on the hockey team.”

 

Ama grinned wickedly, “Oh yeah, you’re gonna have a lot of fun this year. If you have an inside source on the hockey team prepare yourself. It’s Zimmerman’s last year, so you know we have to be all up in that teams grill.”

 

“I figured,” Lance smilled.

 

The two started talking about future stories, and who lance should ask about the one he was working on now. Time seemed to float away again, as he lost count of how long the two of them were geeking out over all the plans they had for the year.

 

He was very overwhelmed if he was being honest. Nothing about this felt right- he was always better at creative writing than journalism. He loved journalism, but the way Ama talked about it, it was what she wanted to do with her life. Lance lived for writing, but he wanted to write stories about far away places and sadness and betrayal. But he could handle this. He could handle four years of working on the Swallow. He had to.

 

He thought back to his conversation with Keith, how Keith seemed too be sure that Lance was screwing himself over. But he wasn’t. At least he didn’t think he was. He sighed internally as Ama sent him off to go talk to the girls tennis team.

 

After a long day of getting the scoop on why people hated each other (he got both of the rivalries down besides hockey and lacrosse) he walked back to his dorm room. Everything was quiet across campus, and he loved it. There was a lake on campus that he’d have to find when he needed to actually write the story, and he wanted to find the closest ice cream shop.  There was a lot of things he needed to do and he needed to do them soon. As he walked up the stairs to his dorm he sighed. Keith’s words had been ringing in his head all afternoon.

On one hand, he knew that Keith was right. On the other, it hurt that Keith didn’t trust him. Lance got it- he really did. But Keith didn’t trust Lance at all and it hurt. He ran a hand through his hair as he stared at the lock, pulling his keys out and stepping inside. He trudged his way to the dorm, his body finally catching up with the exhaustion his mind felt.

 

He turned the door to find a tall red head with a bunch of freckles lounging on the other side of the room. The two made eye contact, before the redhead sat up.

 

“Hey,” The redheads voice was deepish, “I’m Will. Guess we’re roommates.”

 

“Yeah. I’m Lance.”

 

It was briefly awkward before Lance sighed, “This place is fucking insane.”

 

“I hear that,” Will snorted, “I’m on a scholarship and its still costing me more than what my family has ever made.”

 

Lance laughed, “Ditto my dude. My first day actually here, and the Swallow already has me selling my soul to the corporate being that is drama.”

 

“Damn,” Will said, “Must be fun.”

 

“Extremely.”

 

The two conversed for a bit, before Will got a call. He talked to someone on the other side and Lance tried his best not to eavesdrop. Instead he took out his laptop and started scrolling through the information hub that was tumblr. He noticed Hunk had posted a new story, and read through it, liking and reblogging it when he was done. The second he did a new ask popped in his inbox. He ignored it for a moment, instead reblogging more of Hunk’s content. The ask count kept growing and he felt his shoulders tense up.

 

Opening the inbox, he already knew what was coming. His eyes scanned over the anon hate barley registering what they were saying before deleting them. He was fine. He was fine. He was fine. He was fine.

 

He wasn’t fine. Normally anon hate didn’t get under his skin, but he had an eventful day. Nothing bad necessarily happened- though he hated how keith didn’t trust him, that wasn’t bad it just... hurt- it was an exhausting day. And dealing with all that hate left a hollow feeling in his chest.

 

People liked him enough to follow his blog, but not enough to not tell him to kill himself. He didn’t want to admit it but he’d considered it. Tried to do it once- he disappeared from online for like a month while recovering, and people were harassing Keith, Hunk, and Pidge for answers on where he was. He hadn’t tried since the one time was enough to scare him. He had wanted to die, but he didn’t realize how it would affect his family. That was also around the time that him and Luis stopped being close. Luis blamed himself. Lance blamed himself. It was a bad time.

 

He shrunk into himself, as his dashboard got more notifications. He repeated the process trying not to let the words sink under his skin. But he read each and every one of them and they did sink under his skin. They did break him. Only ever so slightly, but they had been chipping away at him since he was fifteen. It just hurt.

 

He closed the laptop, breathing through his nose to stop himself from crying. His hand found his left side as he pressed into the scars there. Whenever he got anon hate it was like a phantom pain overcame him, because suddenly his side felt slightly on fire. Like the cuts did right when he made them. He hated his scars, so he tried to curb the habit. It worked- sorta.

 

He bit his lip, drawing a little blood. He didn’t want to think about this, or the shit the anon hate had said. He laid down in his bed staring at the ceiling. Will had long since stopped talking on the phone and started typing something on his laptop. Lance tried to listen to the soft clicks of his typing as a way of grounding himself. It didn’t work.

 

He felt his eyes go heavy but his mind was still racing at 500 miles. He kept thinking about today. About Keith. About the Swallow. About drama. About Anon hate. About Luis. About his mom. The idea that he was currently sleeping in the same room as a complete stranger. There were  alot  of things his mind was racing about and he couldn't handle it.

 

By the time sleep captured him he had dug his nails into his side so hard that it drew blood. He felt his grip slowly loosen as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHhhhh Second Chapter!!! AHhhhhsjfkhd.
> 
> Shout out to my beta Naruaku on Tumblr. Follow me on tumblr at lovelylangst!


End file.
